where am i from again
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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