Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
