# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
