i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize