I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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