You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
