if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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