i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
