is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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