i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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