I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
