did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
