You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
