ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You may now shotgun with the bride
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
how does that bad decision feel?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
