Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
