also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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