Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
