bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
