youre lurking in front of me
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
