Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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