can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize