You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
