Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So drunk its hurt
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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