so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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