You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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