i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize