u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize