: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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