i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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