Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
