:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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