Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
