How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
