Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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