WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize