I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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