I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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