i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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