i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
