hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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