last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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