you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
