I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
