is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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