it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize