Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think I died a long time ago.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
