I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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