Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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