Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
