I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The air was thick with penises
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
