im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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