i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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