if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
