Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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