p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
