Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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