I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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