Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
