Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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