we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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