We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
