these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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