I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
