i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm always down for nudity.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
