we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize