I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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