can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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